1994: Idaho-Bound on My First DocEx Mission
In which Teófilo reminisces about his first work outing serving as an apprentice to a Mage.
Once upon a time, during a traffic stop in Idaho...
During the spring of 1994, a state trooper in Idaho stopped a car for a traffic violation. A middle-aged couple traveled in the car. The man was driving. The trooper didn't take long to sniff the smell of marijuana reeking from the car. Probable cause in hand, the trooper asked for back up and then searched the vehicle.
In the front part of the vehicle the trooper found small bags of marijuana, each with a proper name and weight. Nearby he found an Apple laptop computer, one of the first ones in the market at the time. (I want to say it was a Powerbook 170 though it could've been a 140).
The trooper, doing his due dilligence, also found in the car trunk an assortment of adult toys. They showed obvious signs of use.
The driver was open, forthcoming, and cooperative with the police. He was a software developer from California. He and his wife were returning therein from a party in another Midwestern state. He owned up to the marijuana and volunteered he himself had grown it at home.
Later, the DEA would execute a search warrant at the couple's home in California. Inside a closet the found a hydroponic marijuana growth. "Hydroponic" describes a procedure aimed at producing marijuana with a higher THC yield. In other words, grow a more "mellow" marijuana; a "groovier" intoxicant. They boosted its potency by controlling the temperature, humidity, nutrients, and CO2 in their small closet garden. That's what made their growth "hydroponic" and their marijuana better than most.
Back to the traffic stop, the troopers decided not to check the adult toys further. They weren't going to risk any K9 sniffing through these hideous paraphernalia. After a cursory view, the troopers let the hapless couple keep their toys.
Which left the computer and its contents to be examined. That's where I came in, though not as a protagonist, but as a wannabe.
The Magician's Apprentice
I was fresh out of training. My supervisors decided this would be my first mission, to analyze the computer's files. That didn't mean I would access the computer without constraints. I would have to treat the computer as I would someone's file drawer once opened. But I didn't know how to open it - yet.
Luckily for the NDIC, we had the nation's top forensic computer scientist at the time working with us: Howard Schmidt. Howard was at the forefront of the evolving art and science of "computer forensics."
The procedures of computer forensics involve extracting information from a seized computer system without damaging its value as legal evidence. The computer forensics specialist must be able to testify in court to the integrity of the data. Otherwise, the judge can and must reject the extracted information. The rejection can compromise a case and let a guilty person go free.
Thus, they decided Howard and I would travel to Idaho and examine the laptop. Howard would extract the data and I would examine and describe the contents and its meaning to the case.
Howard would play the role of an old, ageless Mage. I would play the role of his Mickey Mouse apprentice.
I arrived in Idaho with a splitting headache after changing planes three times. At least I got to see from the air the Great Salt Lake that gives the city its name. It was an underwhelming view, for it resembled a swamp more than anything. A big bog of a swamp.
Once on the ground in Idaho, I didn't enjoy the views much on the way to our hotel, but appreciated its likeness to South Dakota. I pondered the long road that brought me here before I went to bed and calmed the headache.
We went to the office the next day after breakfast. My headache had dissipated and I was ready to observe and learn. Howard did his thing and extracted an electronic spreadsheet file. The file contained a table the man used to track every detail of his marijuana closet grow. The file was incriminating evidence of an ongoing marijuana grow.
Howard and I finished our work in the early afternoon. We decided to pay a visit to Yellowstone, as the famed park was a short drive away. That is, "short" by Midwest standards but doable in an afternoon-to-evening trip. On our drive we spotted the Grand Tetons. Howard explained to me how undersexed (or was it oversexed?) Frenchmen had named the mountain range back in the day.
That's how I paid my first ever, unforgettable visit to Yellowstone. While we drove, Howard explained to me the effects of glaciation and the active volcanic caldera below the surface. We went to the Geyser Basic and paid a visit to Old Faithful.
We saw various wildlife too, but it was the human one I found the most interesting. I saw for the first time ever a clash between entitled tourists and angry tree-huggers. The reason for the clash was a moose, which was laying down resting. The tourists were intent upon getting very close and taking pictures. The wildlife defender was vociferous about this invasion of the moose's habitat.
I thought it was most logical not to infuriate a moose, regardless of one's sense of entitlement. That would've been a fight the tourist was bound to lose. Besides, there were plenty of warnings displayed around the park banning such engagements. But no one will learn the right lesson until trampled by a moose.
Outcome
Shortly after my return to the NDIC I examined the data Howard had extracted from the computer. I was able to find out the yield and market value of the suspect's homegrown marijuana. It turned out it was a nice side-hustle, yielding a six-figure income, a nice complement to his licit earnings.
Even so, the suspect pled guilty to state charges. He has kept the number of marijuana plants at 99, short one plant from breaking Federal law. The data once contained in the spreadsheet gave investigators insight into the operation. It also portended the use of information technologies to guide illegal drug productions. But the data wasn't used in court, as the grower, as I’ve said, has pled guilty. End of story.
The experience convinced me that I needed to learn more about computer forensics. I decided to get more training on this subject as I considered a future career in computer forensics. I also applied myself to the general lore of glaciations and their effects on the North American continent.
Howard Schmidt stayed at NDIC long enough to conceptualize our future computer forensic laboratory. He moved on to greater responsibilities in the rarefied, high government spheres. He served in both Bush II's and Obama's White House as the nation's top cyber expert. He passed away in 2017.